Hi Y.
You definitely aren’t alone. I share so many similar thoughts as you, it was as if I was reading something about myself. Although there are parts where we differ, I think that’s the most amazing thing about our shared narrative — the complexity and intertwinings of similarities and differences. I’d love to be in contact if you are comfortable and/or would like someone to share sentiments with. Finding community can be important, but there is no pressure to say yes :)